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Finally, I came up with a third alternative: brutal threat plus bribery. I had a Turkish interpreter friend tell the girl's family polish guys dating if they forced me, I'd her.
And when I went back to the States, I'd dump dating rules women on the streets of New York City to live out her life as a non-English speaking street whore. Or, forget the marriage and I'd give them some money.
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We settled on grand, but they had a stipulation: we had to actually have the marriage ceremony and she would say no to me, thus preserving the family honor. So, we had the wedding ceremony.